GuetenTAG

Well there you have it folks... All it took was a 15-hour day. Well that and Yohan’s post urging one (what one believes to be at any rate) to return to the blogsphere.

I am pissed off enough to write a nice long post but there is the thrilling prospect of work to get up for in the early morning. By the by, I am doing the 9 to 6 thing again… hopefully temporarily. Anyway, as I was explaining, this cannot be a long, philosophical yet amusing rant that it should be…

So I’ll just celebrate my return by responding, as it were, to yet another tag entrusted upon me by… who else but… IITYIHTKY:


5 people who top your shit list..... and why:

Can’t think of anyone for this one. That is not to say I see goodness in all of god’s children or any of that arbitrary stuff… This is just a phase of indifference-powered virtue. Of course, extending this to people I have not met would make this list endless… what with Ekta Kapoor still churning out soap operas faster than you can say I-J-K-K-K-L, Delhi Times still making money despite its horrendous puns, Himesh Reshammiya not being lynched despite that ridiculous “Jai Mata Di, Let’s Rock” combo of his… Hmmm… I think I don’t mind criminals as much as I hate irritating media personalities! I think we are better off without most of them!

Close brushes with death/danger:

Ah yes…

1. Almost squashed under a falling wall when I was 2. The wall (some sort of temporary construction as I recollect now) was the divider between the shower area and the loo area... and I had just stepped out after a very violent bath... when the walls literally came crashing down. There was a metal bucket I left behind which was sold for scrap to a kabari...
Lasting Effect: No baths for a fortnight.I claimed fear for my life but actually it was cunning ploy to avoid having my ears scrubbed .

2. Almost gored/stamped upon by a bull when I was 4 years old... while crossing the road on my own for the first time. Some may deem it divine intervention that made the bull skip ... yes, skip... over me and go after my snot-ridden classmate instead... I just think the bull couldn’t stand the sight of him either.
Lasting Effect: Not allowed to cross the road for another 2 years and consequently, had to be the seeker (of the hide and seek variety) in our neighborhood games for a long long time.

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:

There is just one way to do this if you want to do it right:

Step 1. Go up to the top of a roof
Step 2: String piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
Step 3: Tie a rope to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above ground level when it is stretched
Step 4: Put super glue on your hands
Step 5: Put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
Step 6: Lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows

Lasting Effect: When the cord goes taut, you’ll be hanging upside down with no head.... except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

5 Guilty Pleasures:

1. One smoke in the morning.
2. My motorbike.
3. Pissing off my Dad for fun.
4. Too many breaks at work.
5. Too many breaks at work.


5 things you never want to forget:

Not sure what this is all about… how can you forget something you don’t want to forget anyway? I guess we are talking about good times in the past (or are we talking “Zindagi-ke-Usool”?… I do have those as well but I keep forgetting them!) Anyway…

1. My home and neighborhood between the ages of 7 and 11. Not to get all schmaltzy here but its what can be called my “Happy Place”.
2. Three years in St. Stephen’s College. I especially enjoyed the angst and the music! And the vodka was nice… (Incidentally dudes, the World Cup final is on July 9th… are you pondering what I am pondering?)
3. My first lowe. (Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture titled: Dr. Strangelove or: How I learnt to stop Loving and start staring at the Bombs!)
4. To wash my hands after using the loo.
5. The PIN for my ATM card.


5 things you wish to forget:

1. That I have to go to work tomorrow.

Later…

5 crushes/loves in your life... in chronological order

1.English Teacher in Class IV, who also happened to be the Principal’s daughter-in-law. Surprisingly enough, things did not work out between us.
2. Bench mate in Class V
3. Her best friend.
4. First Lowe.
5. Current Lowe interest… (not counting the three in between since never did anything about them!)

Strangest dream you ever had:

Strangest… I have had a lot of strange dreams so this is tough… there was one in which I solved my own murder. That was rather strange.


5 most valued personal possessions:
Nothing to write here… can’t imagine being particularly upset about losing anything I own. Old furniture at home perhaps… I was pretty sad about our last sofa so I guess I get used to some stuff.


5 favorite superheroes..... and why:

1. Snake Eyes (Coz he was silent but effective… kind of like a cold stare)
2. He- Man (Coz he is twice the man)
3. Wolverine & Sabretooth (Ok, I am not kidding! But do these guys have the best powers or what? Instant healing! Pitch them against one another in a movie and you know what you get? A never-ending climax!)
4. Batman (agree with IITYIHTKY…. The “Wham! Bam! Thack! Was just too good!)
5. Spiderman (well, obviously people can’t fly… Spidey does the next best thing)


I'll tag someone in the morning.